A Dog's Breakfast, Ottawa Style
I was home last night, thinking I was viewing a hilarious new episode of Monty Python, when I suddenly realized that I was in fact watching the shenanigans of our elected leaders on Parliament Hill. What a bunch of kooks. Apparently it was discovered that the Conservatives, under Prime Minister Stephen "Puddn'head" Harper, have been acting like a bunch of sneaky sons-of-bitches. The Liberals, the NDP and the Bloc, upon learning of this outrage, have responded by acting like a bunch of sneaky sons-of-bitches. And today poor Michaelle Jean - who surely didn't sign up for this shit - has the unfortunate task of sorting it all out. Rumour has it she's seeking an easier gig - like running GM or Chrysler, for instance.
I have to say that this three party coalition has got everybody's shorts in a knot. Petitions are flying around like bullets at Plaxico Burress' birthday party. I think everybody should relax. This mighty coalition - if successful - will remain intact for about 12 minutes. As soon as Jack Layton spots another shiny object to chase - and keep in mind it was Smiling Jack who put Harper in power to begin with - that will be the end of it. Maybe he'll decide that Brian Burke or Celine Dion should get a shot at being PM. Or perhaps even his wife - Olivia Newton Chow.
Even more panic surrounds the involvement of the separtists(!) Surely they are, at long last, planning to disassemble the country. Let's get this straight - the separtist movement in Quebec is like the brain tissue in Julian Fantino's head - it might exist but it's dormant and it's gonna stay that way. The average citizen of La Belle Province doesn't want out. And they particularly don't want out at a time when the world's economy is plummeting like a skydiver without a chute.
As for the Liberals, why are they doing this to Dion? He thought he had escaped and now they pull this on him? Those sneaky sons-of...okay, we already established that. If this thing goes through, Stephane will have to suck it up, be PM for a few months and then vanish into the wilderness. Where he might just find Mr. Harper stumbling around.
You have to wonder where this concept came from. Let's see - a devious, duplicitous, right wing leader who has led the country into a recession while fighting an unwinnable war is sent into exile? Nope, drawing a blank. But gee - maybe Dubya has a spare room for Puddn'head down in Crawford.
There is one thing missing in all this though. As the GOP flamed out last month south of the border, they brought in Sarah Palin to throw gasoline on the fire. We need our own version of this. Someone just like Sarah - sassy, flashy, all mavericky, with an expensive wardrobe and the intelligence of a Haldimand County fencepost.
Come on home, Belinda Stronach. Your country needs you.
I have to say that this three party coalition has got everybody's shorts in a knot. Petitions are flying around like bullets at Plaxico Burress' birthday party. I think everybody should relax. This mighty coalition - if successful - will remain intact for about 12 minutes. As soon as Jack Layton spots another shiny object to chase - and keep in mind it was Smiling Jack who put Harper in power to begin with - that will be the end of it. Maybe he'll decide that Brian Burke or Celine Dion should get a shot at being PM. Or perhaps even his wife - Olivia Newton Chow.
Even more panic surrounds the involvement of the separtists(!) Surely they are, at long last, planning to disassemble the country. Let's get this straight - the separtist movement in Quebec is like the brain tissue in Julian Fantino's head - it might exist but it's dormant and it's gonna stay that way. The average citizen of La Belle Province doesn't want out. And they particularly don't want out at a time when the world's economy is plummeting like a skydiver without a chute.
As for the Liberals, why are they doing this to Dion? He thought he had escaped and now they pull this on him? Those sneaky sons-of...okay, we already established that. If this thing goes through, Stephane will have to suck it up, be PM for a few months and then vanish into the wilderness. Where he might just find Mr. Harper stumbling around.
You have to wonder where this concept came from. Let's see - a devious, duplicitous, right wing leader who has led the country into a recession while fighting an unwinnable war is sent into exile? Nope, drawing a blank. But gee - maybe Dubya has a spare room for Puddn'head down in Crawford.
There is one thing missing in all this though. As the GOP flamed out last month south of the border, they brought in Sarah Palin to throw gasoline on the fire. We need our own version of this. Someone just like Sarah - sassy, flashy, all mavericky, with an expensive wardrobe and the intelligence of a Haldimand County fencepost.
Come on home, Belinda Stronach. Your country needs you.
posted by Brad Smith at
11:16 AM
6 Comments
