Weasels To The Left Of Me, Cheaters To The Right
And I’m standing on the border between.
Before we get to the Mitchell Report, let’s have a look in the mirror first. We had a real hall of fame week here in the Great White North. Unfortunately, that would be the slimeball hall of fame. Robert Picton, Conrad Black, Brian Mulroney. These guys, among them, don’t have enough redeemable qualities to make a compost heap.
Regarding the concerns that Picton was convicted of second degree instead of first - and therefore eligible for earlier release - forget about it. While it is unfathomable that he was not convicted of first, he ain’t getting parole. Not in 25 years, not in 100. Not gonna happen.
As for Conrad, Lord Black of CrossBooger, he was arrogant to the end. There’s something fascinating about a guy who can hold that pose when he’s convicted, sentenced, and looking in general like the pompous boob he’s always been. We’ll see if he can hold that pose when he’s on his hands and knees, scrubbing toilets with the homeys down in that Florida prison. Yo Conny, bring the Saniflush.
And then there’s our ex-prime minister. Myron Baloney. Just looking at his smarmy, slimy countenance, while he delivered his version of events to Ottawa this week, makes a man want to hurl. The bad news - he’s gonna walk on this thing because 1) The guy accusing him, Carl Schreiber, is damn near as despicable as Brian himself (no mean feat) and 2) Nobody will be able to prove any real ‘wrongdoing’. It’s perfectly okay for a prime minister to accept a few hundred grand in cash in a hotel room, for services to be rendered (they have a name for women who commit such acts) and it’s perfectly okay for him to ‘forget’ to pay tax on that money for a few years. One thing won’t change though - Mulroney is still the classless cretin he’s always been, from the days he was cheating to get through university to the times he kissed Ronald Reagan’s ass from here to Tipperary.
Speaking of cheating, it was shocking to learn this week that baseball has a steroid problem. Well, if you are shocked at that, I’ve some real bad news for you regarding Santa Claus. The Mitchell Report made quite a splash - exposing, in particular, Roger Clemens to be the ‘roider we always suspected him to be. However, it’s too bad that the report had to rely predominantly on two informers from the New York teams. The commission had little leverage because it did not have subpoena power, and because of that it got virtually no cooperation from the players. Read the report - even the players named still refused to speak to the accusations when given a chance. All of them. If you’re innocent, aren’t you gonna want to tell your side? In the end, though, the report is flawed because of all the players who are NOT named. No stars at all from Boston, Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, L.A., Milwaukee, Kansas City, etc. etc. etc. Nobody on those teams ever did 'roids? Gimme a break. A lot of guys breathing easier these days because of that. While overall, the report is a good thing for baseball, the problem remains the same as it is with the Olympics - the cheaters are always gonna be one step ahead of the testers.
Before we get to the Mitchell Report, let’s have a look in the mirror first. We had a real hall of fame week here in the Great White North. Unfortunately, that would be the slimeball hall of fame. Robert Picton, Conrad Black, Brian Mulroney. These guys, among them, don’t have enough redeemable qualities to make a compost heap.
Regarding the concerns that Picton was convicted of second degree instead of first - and therefore eligible for earlier release - forget about it. While it is unfathomable that he was not convicted of first, he ain’t getting parole. Not in 25 years, not in 100. Not gonna happen.
As for Conrad, Lord Black of CrossBooger, he was arrogant to the end. There’s something fascinating about a guy who can hold that pose when he’s convicted, sentenced, and looking in general like the pompous boob he’s always been. We’ll see if he can hold that pose when he’s on his hands and knees, scrubbing toilets with the homeys down in that Florida prison. Yo Conny, bring the Saniflush.
And then there’s our ex-prime minister. Myron Baloney. Just looking at his smarmy, slimy countenance, while he delivered his version of events to Ottawa this week, makes a man want to hurl. The bad news - he’s gonna walk on this thing because 1) The guy accusing him, Carl Schreiber, is damn near as despicable as Brian himself (no mean feat) and 2) Nobody will be able to prove any real ‘wrongdoing’. It’s perfectly okay for a prime minister to accept a few hundred grand in cash in a hotel room, for services to be rendered (they have a name for women who commit such acts) and it’s perfectly okay for him to ‘forget’ to pay tax on that money for a few years. One thing won’t change though - Mulroney is still the classless cretin he’s always been, from the days he was cheating to get through university to the times he kissed Ronald Reagan’s ass from here to Tipperary.
Speaking of cheating, it was shocking to learn this week that baseball has a steroid problem. Well, if you are shocked at that, I’ve some real bad news for you regarding Santa Claus. The Mitchell Report made quite a splash - exposing, in particular, Roger Clemens to be the ‘roider we always suspected him to be. However, it’s too bad that the report had to rely predominantly on two informers from the New York teams. The commission had little leverage because it did not have subpoena power, and because of that it got virtually no cooperation from the players. Read the report - even the players named still refused to speak to the accusations when given a chance. All of them. If you’re innocent, aren’t you gonna want to tell your side? In the end, though, the report is flawed because of all the players who are NOT named. No stars at all from Boston, Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, L.A., Milwaukee, Kansas City, etc. etc. etc. Nobody on those teams ever did 'roids? Gimme a break. A lot of guys breathing easier these days because of that. While overall, the report is a good thing for baseball, the problem remains the same as it is with the Olympics - the cheaters are always gonna be one step ahead of the testers.
posted by Brad Smith at
9:46 AM
2 Comments
